I met some new neighbors last night.
My community hosts a monthly event at the clubhouse called Thirsty Thursday. The idea is simple: bring your favorite beverage and a snack to share, and enjoy some casual mingling with the neighbors. Though I’ve lived in our neighborhood for over ten years, I’ve never attended.
It’s not that I’m unfriendly or uninterested—I simply hadn’t gone.
Last night, after dinner with the lovely couple next door, we drove past the gathering on our way home. They’re regular Thirsty Thursday attendees and insisted I come check it out with them. I hesitated, but agreed.
Showing Up Alone
Looking back, I think I avoided these gatherings for a reason that I hadn’t quite admitted to myself: I didn’t want to show up alone.
Even though it’s been many years since my husband died, and I’ve grown very used to doing things as a single woman, there’s something uniquely intimidating about stepping into a room full of couples. Social events like this often come with an invisible but palpable barrier for those of us navigating life solo.
Having my dinner companions there gave me the confidence I needed to walk in. I was introduced around. I chatted, I laughed, and I felt surprisingly… at ease.
One neighbor joked that I must be new to the area, and I had to smile as I told them I’ve been quietly living at the end of the cul-de-sac for over a decade. I guess I’ve been a bit of a mystery all these years—until now.
The Many Disguises of Fear
As I reflected on the evening, I realized how often I let small discomforts keep me from trying new things. Not because I don’t want to grow, connect, or be brave—but because it’s just easier to stay home, stay quiet, and avoid the potential awkwardness of being the “new person.”
Grief can do that. It’s sneaky. It convinces us that what is familiar is also safer. Those new experiences aren’t worth the effort. That we’ll be out of place and uncomfortable.
But sometimes, we need to question the story grief is telling us. Sometimes, we need to say yes—even if we’re unsure, even if we’re feeling a little vulnerable, even if we’re walking in alone.
The Gift of a Simple Yes
I don’t know if Thirsty Thursday will become a regular part of my calendar, but I’m glad I gave it a try. I’m glad I showed up. And most of all, I’m glad I was reminded that doing something once makes it a whole lot easier to do again.
I’ve always said that once you do a “new thing,” it stops being new—and that’s true for just about anything in life, including showing up to a neighborhood gathering.
So if you’ve been hesitating to try something—whether it’s going to a support group, attending a new church, trying that pottery class, or introducing yourself to the person next door—consider this your gentle nudge.
Don’t let the discomfort of a first time keep you from discovering what could be a really lovely time.